mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize