Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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