I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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