The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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