just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
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when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize