she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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