he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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