You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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