Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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(503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge

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(314): View more from Missouri

I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.

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(314): I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people. http://tfl.nu/5ctu

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(518): View more from New York

i just had sex bonerless

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(518): i just had sex bonerless http://tfl.nu/7rsn

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm in his phone as sushi coochie

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(610): i'm in his phone as sushi coochie http://tfl.nu/9tzp

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(630): View more from Illinois

i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.

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(630): i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/wsec

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(609): View more from New Jersey

not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies

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(609): not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies http://tfl.nu/jxw6

Replies (15) Good night (1194) Bad night (2750)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.

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(508): I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car. http://tfl.nu/9e5w

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty

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(860): Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty http://tfl.nu/6xch

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar

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(202): the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar http://tfl.nu/f2lj

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(562): View more from California

I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset

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(562): I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset http://tfl.nu/nrla

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(501): View more from Arkansas

It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.

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(501): It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/crm3

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(618): View more from Illinois

And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it

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(618): And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it http://tfl.nu/zwsy

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(707): View more from California

It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.

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(707): It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know. http://tfl.nu/9rsw

Replies (20) Good night (1498) Bad night (511)
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(661): View more from California

Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.

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(661): Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head. http://tfl.nu/dct5

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(813): View more from Florida

It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball

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(813): It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball http://tfl.nu/dyfa

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