we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think my vagina is haunted
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
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I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
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If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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