You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize