carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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