between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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