wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize