My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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