you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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