no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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