We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
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You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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