so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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