If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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