sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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