Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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