3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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