i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize