So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize