I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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