he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize