I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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