He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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