U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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