Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize