I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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