Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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