i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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