i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize