Apparently you make a good broom.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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