xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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