The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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