TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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