Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize