Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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