Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
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You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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