Just mADE A PArabola og urine
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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