I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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