i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize