Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
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I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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