she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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