We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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