Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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