these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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